Back in the day, the Mars Bar was the true king of chocolate bars. It took a long time to eat and satisfied every umami receptor that one had. The original Mars was a substantial eat: a thick wall of chocolate that took some biting through encased a vault of the thickest caramel that coated one’s teeth and gums. It was a real treat and the greediest kid couldn’t eat more than one at a sitting.
Yesterday morning I was feeling a low blood sugar moment coming on and I bought a Mars bar to get me through it. First up, the size wasn’t what it should have been. The original Mars bar was a hefty piece of work that filled one’s hand. What I got yesterday was a disappointingly short stick that weighed hardly anything. There was no resistance at all as my teeth bit through the chocolate skin, and the bitten piece just seemed to melt in my mouth. It wasn’t what I expected or wanted.
Looking at the thing in section it was easy to see how thin the chocolate coating was, and how the caramel had been reduced to a slight sliver squeezed into place on a soft whipped mass that filled the bar. It was just terrible!
Kids today, of course, know no better because the old bars just aren’t available for them to compare. They should sue the bar makers, I say. Sue them for taking away one of the great joys of childhood.