The Imasculation Of The Mars Bar

Back in the day, the Mars Bar was the true king of chocolate bars.  It took a long time to eat and satisfied every umami receptor that one had.   The original Mars was a substantial eat:  a thick wall of chocolate that took some biting through encased a vault of the thickest caramel that coated one’s teeth and gums.  It was a real treat and the greediest kid couldn’t eat more than one at a sitting.

Yesterday morning I was feeling a low blood sugar moment coming on and I bought a Mars bar to get me through it.  First up, the size wasn’t what it should have been.  The original Mars bar was a hefty piece of work that filled one’s hand.   What I got yesterday was a disappointingly short stick that weighed hardly anything.  There was no resistance at all as my teeth bit through the chocolate skin, and the bitten piece just seemed to melt in my mouth.  It wasn’t what I expected or wanted.

Looking at the thing in section it was easy to see how thin the chocolate coating was, and how the caramel had been reduced to a slight sliver squeezed into place on a soft whipped mass that filled the bar.   It was just terrible!

Kids today, of course, know no better because the old bars just aren’t available for them to compare. They should sue the bar makers, I say.  Sue them for taking away one of the great joys of childhood.

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4 Responses to The Imasculation Of The Mars Bar

  1. Andotron says:

    I stumbled upon this because I was talking about how good king size mars bars were. I understand that the makers will have had pressure from all sorts to help reduce the amount of fat people around. but now to satisfy my sugar cravings i need to buy two mars bars and squash them on top of each other to remind me of how good they were back in the day!

  2. tony says:

    Yes this should be sorted out, I too am fed up with the way the chocolate bars of our past are either now made so small it is not worth eating them, or just taken away completely. Wagon wheels, although I was never a great fan, are just tiny compared to the dinner plate of a chocolate treat they were. Thankyou.

  3. Robert Langford says:

    I am with you folks all the way. Miss the real Mars bar so much I came to tis site? Go figure. Why can’t they make the original bar and just charge more? Will Mars philosophy always be keep the price the same and reduce the chocolate content. We will end up with a 1 centimetre Mars Bar eventually disappearing to zero.
    Okay that is bad enough, but now they are working on diminishing the size of the Cadburys cream egg. They have launched the latest wee version encased in an egg container that is supposed to make it look bigger? We are not fooled, egg people. We know it’s a wee-er egg inside. So Egg makers and Martians take note, we want the originals back on the shelfs. Dig out yer old designs and get working on re-introducing the very successful original products.
    Wee Rabbie, Ottawa

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